Loving Your Wife

As I begin to write this blog entry, let me say that this topic has troubled me for quite some time. In my line of work, I often hear men complain about spending time with their wives. A significant number of the men I encounter want to spend more time away from their wives than with them. I just do not get it. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with spending some time with the guys once in a while. However, the way I see it, it is usually the wives who only get the time once in a while. I by no means claim to be perfect. Nor do I claim that I always treat my wife according to God's plan. However, I look forward to every minute that I get to spend with her. To me, this is the way it is supposed to be. It is my honest belief that God intended for every man to consider his wife as his best friend, and who better to spend your free time with than your best friend? To look at spending time with your wife as a burden? How would things be if Christ only loved the church once in a while? Pretty sad in my opinion.

When you take your marriage vows you promise to God and all of the people in attendance that you will love this woman. Scripture commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Ephesians 6:25 - 27 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without blemish." I don't know about you, but I feel those are some pretty powerful words. The way I see it, He made much more of a sacrifice than we could ever dream of having to make, although husbands should be willing to lay down their lives for their wives.

As husbands it is our responsibility to protect our wives. This means much more than protecting in a physical sense. It also means that we must protect them spiritually, or more so to make sure they are spiritually led. For example: Let's say you decide to watch a movie with your wife. You choose Rambo which is full of violence and vulgarity. Is this something you want your wife to see? Or maybe you go the sports route and decide to watch Any Given Sunday which contains the language and nudity. Again is this something you want your wife to see? (We as Christian men should choose better also, but that is another topic for another blog post.) Gentlemen, we need to be mindful of what we permit our wives to be subjected to.

I mentioned that as husbands it is our responsibility to spiritually lead our wives. I will be the first to tell you I fail quite often in this category. I do pray with my wife before we go to bed. I also say a blessing for her as well. I pray for her many times during the day. Where I fail is that I do not read scripture with her on a regular basis. We, as husbands, need to be in constant prayer for our wives. We need to read scripture with them and to them. We need to instruct them and council them when they need it. I challenge all Christian men (myself included) to step up and lead your wives in this important aspect of your marriage.

Another thing that we as husbands can do is give our wives a break. What I mean is help out where you can. Help with dishes, laundry, cooking, taking care of the kids, and so on. Now this is not as hard as it may seem. You will make a great impression by simply cleaning up after yourself. Put dishes in the sink, rinse them off, put them in the dishwasher. Put your laundry away. Put dirty laundry in the basket again. You get the picture. These little thing will help lighten your wife's work load. One thing I try to do at least once a year is to give my wife a complete day off. I take the kids to work with me (I know this may not be possible for everyone but you could take them out on your day off) so she can sleep in as long as she wants. I cook dinner when I get home so she does not have to do anything but relax that day. I again am not claiming to be perfect in this area. Sometimes the little things we do make a big difference.

Lastly, but certainly not least, make sure your wife knows that you love her. Not only by telling her, which you should do often, but by showing her. Treat her with respect. Tell her how much you appreciate what she does for your family; the cooking, cleaning, laundry, parenting, and the list goes on. Honor her in your every move. Open the door for her. Help her with her coat. Hold the umbrella for her(Yes, you will get wet.That's okay, you won't melt). Again, these things may seem like no big deal, but look around when you go to the store, restaurants, and church.
Count how many men you see holding doors or opening them for their wives. Then count how many you see walking ahead of their wives, running ahead of them in the rain, and so on. I am sure the latter number will be higher. What a sad truth that is. I don't think that is what is implied when you read 'Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.' Do you?


Remember gentlemen, we have been given a command! Love your wife as Christ loved His church, and also remember we are part of that church that He loves. Let's stand up and love our wives as God intends for us to.

AMEN